Vanilla and Acorns
by Dreamer1920
Summary: It's late, and an intoxicated SpongeBob and Patrick are out wandering around until they stumble upon the home of a certain squirrel. After a bit of teasing and pressure from the starfish about SpongeBob's feelings for said squirrel, SpongeBob sets out to prove him wrong. Will he succeed? Or will his drunk emotions get the better of him?
1. Chapter 1: The Sweet Taste of a Friend

**Hey there! I have a Spandylicious (is that weird? XD) story for you here! This is a little something that I've had in the back of my head for quite a while and I'm glad I finally got around to writing it. It's not gonna be some big, special story. It's just a little something that'll leave some room for you to fill in the gap with your imaginations. Also, I'd like to dedicate this story to my friend, AtomicFlounder! ATF, I know how much you love a drunk SpongeBob, so I hope you get a kick out of this. XD Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own SpongeBob SquarePants or any of its characters.**

**Vanilla and Acorns**

_~French Narrator~ _

"Ah, a lovely night in the beautiful land of sea creatures. The sun has disappeared, the glorious night sky is covering the city with its fascinating… eh, _darkness._ And the people of Bikini Bottom are having a calm, relaxing and normal evening. Well, everyone except for our favorite sponge and sea star. They are, how you say, _completely wasted."_

"Wait up for me, Patrick. I'm having a little trouble here… w-walking." Said a very wobbly and _very_ intoxicated SpongeBob. He and Patrick had just left, or rather, wandered off aimlessly, from a wild and loud party being held at Goo Lagoon. To celebrate the end of summer, Larry the Lobster had granted himself the pleasure of taking over the entire beach, serving up colorful drinks that teenagers weren't allowed to have (and were warned not to tell their parents about).

The party was fun, the party was rambunctious, the party was filled with all kinds of outrageous and, dare one say, risqué behavior. Heck no, not of the extreme kind by any means, but there certainly were a lot of teens playing games of Spin the Bottle behind their parents' backs. Again, something they were warned not to tell them about.

As for SpongeBob and Patrick? Well, they partied, that was for sure. They, especially SpongeBob, danced until their arms fell off. Which wasn't a big deal because they grew right back. And when it came to those "special" and colorful drinks, the two best friends declined to take part in consuming them for the drinking contest. Instead, they figured that participating in the ice cream eating contest was _far more_ their speed. After all, they had been to Goofy Goober's countless times and were used to the sugar crash that came from the frozen desserts.

Oh, but dear Neptune, did they overdo it this evening. It was to the point where Patrick had fallen down many times and landed flat on his face.

The winner of the contest was to receive a new keychain, which was a rather unexciting prize at best. SpongeBob had beaten all of them and won fair and square (no pun intended), and he was extremely happy to claim the prize. He had been in need of a new keychain for a while, after all.

While SpongeBob was very giddy to receive it, the fish-folk there had all groaned in annoyance because of his enthusiasm. It was just a lousy keychain! What did he have to be so thrilled about? Then again, he was always like that, so they needn't question his attitude, even when he was drunk.

And here the two were, strolling around the sandy landscape at night; both bored and tipsy as-all-get-out.

"Oof!" grunted Patrick as he fell on his face for the fiftieth time that night. SpongeBob came up behind him, one foot crossing the other as he made his steps. His vision was rather blurry, and his mind was foggy, but at least he wasn't "falling-down-drunk" like his pink friend. At least, not _yet_, he wasn't.

"Are you okay, Patrick?" asked SpongeBob, his tone of voice mellow.

Patrick struggled to bring himself to his feet, even as he grabbed onto the skinny arms of his best friend to help him up. "Who, _me?_ Psh, I'm fine, SpongeBob. Don't be so- " before he could finish his sentence, he fell backward, creating a loud thud.

"Boy, that was some party, huh?" he asked, laying on his back.

SpongeBob dropped to his knees and crawled over to his friend, trying to help him back up. "Oh, yeah. It **sure** was, Patty ol' buddy! I mean, WHEW! That was some _**good **_vanilla swirl! I can't get the taste out of my mouth," he slurred, smacking his lips together.

While trying to lift his heavy friend back to his feet, the sponge looked up and noticed just where they had wandered off to. "Hey, look," he pointed. "It's Sandy's house, dahaha! I wonder what she's up to tonight."

The two shakily stood up, holding onto each other. Patrick shook his head, attempting to clear his vision. "Who knows? Maybe she's busy messing around with her latest and greatest science-y thingy…"

SpongeBob nodded in response. As cross-eyed as he was, he still couldn't find it within himself to look away from that Treedome. His disoriented mind managed to only focus on one thing, and that was how much he wanted to go over there, sweep her off her feet and tell her how much he adored her.

SpongeBob wiped his mouth that was stained with vanilla ice cream and smeared it on his disheveled clothing. "Y-Yeah… you're probably right. She's _always busy_ workin' on her 'science-y' stuff." He smiled sweetly to himself. "She's so smart and…" he hiccupped. "so nice and so pretty. Why does she gotta be so pretty, Pat? Doesn't she know how much it makes me wanna throw up?"

Patrick scoffed and shrugged, rolling his eyes. "Well, h-how should I know? I'm not an expert in pretty squirrels, you know?"

"Y-Yeah, I know. Frankly, neither am I, hahaha."

"Well, if she makes you wanna throw up so badly, why don't ya go and tell her?" asked Patrick, pushing the sponge away from him.

SpongeBob looked up at him with narrowed eyes. "W-What?"

"You heard me, mister." He began shoving him. "You should go over there and tell her to stop being so pretty so that you stop feeling all pukey on the inside. It's only fair."

SpongeBob skidded on his feet and turned around to look at his best friend. "D-D-Don't be silly, Patrick. I'm…" he belched. "not about to go in there and tell her anything, no matter how lovely she is. Besides, she's probably busy with her chemicals and whatnot. She doesn't wanna be bothered," he wobbled from side to side.

Patrick crossed his arms over his chest. "Ohhh, I see."

"See what?" asked SpongeBob, becoming annoyed.

"You're just too much of a **big** scaredy-cat to go in there."

"Am not!"

"Are too… **squirrel-lover.**"

SpongeBob gasped and released another hiccup. "I am **not** a squirrel-lover. Sandy just makes my heart pound so hard that it wants to explode out of my chest every day, that's all. And I am also not a scaredy-cat." Being so wasted made him completely unaware of just how unconvincing he sounded.

Patrick looked at him like a taunting school bully. "Well, then in that case, go over there to that air-dome and prove how much you _don't_ like her, squirrel-loving-denier!"

SpongeBob raised a sharp brow and held his arms at his sides like he was in the ocean army. "Alright! I will! Just… _watch me._" He turned away from Patrick and headed into the direction of the brightly lit dome.

_Psh, __**squirrel lover**__. I'll show that starfish who's a "squirrel lover" – certainly not this sponge! What's there to love? Nothing but her beautiful eyes and gorgeous smile, and her big Texas-shaped heart and her charming personality. Pfft, yeah, __**right**__. Nothing to love, at all._

The starfish stood alone and waved off his disappearing friend. "I'll be waiting **right here**, squirrel-loving-pants!" he then felt and heard his stomach grumble loudly, making him reconsider his decision.

"Uhh… on second thought, I'm gonna go on home and eat those leftover tacos in your fridge. Let me know how it goes." He then yawned and took a step forward, only to fall on his face a moment later.

SpongeBob marched his way to the steel front door of the dome, determined to prove his friend wrong. Once reaching it, he lifted his fist to pound on it but quickly found it to be an exhausting task. He leaned his head against the door, taking in a deep breath. _Come on, you yellow weenie. Pound on this door till it falls clean off! You wanna prove that pointy-headed star wrong, don't ya? Yeah, that's what I thought. _

With confidence, he raised his fist once more and banged it against the door five times. The squirrel inside was tucked away in her treehouse and could hear the disturbance as clear as day. After a few "what in tarnation" curses, she decided to investigate.

A few seconds later, the sponge heard the sound of squeaking steel. _Oh, here she comes! Now, let her have it! Tell her how much she __**doesn't**__ make you wanna shower her with kisses!_

Not knowing what to expect, Sandy flung the door open to reveal an unkempt sponge; drops of vanilla ice cream staining his once clean and fresh clothes. Her eyes traveled up his chest and met the darkness of his five o'clock shadow surrounding his mouth area. Finally, she was most taken aback by the sight of his droopy and tired eyelids hanging over his bloodshot eyes. He was a complete mess.

_What in the name of Houston am I lookin' at? _She wondered.

"Uh… well, hey there, SpongeBob! What brings you here this evenin'?" she asked, trying her best to be friendly.

The first thing out of his mouth was the loudest, most obnoxious belch she had ever heard. It was a good thing her helmet was on at that moment, or else her eardrums would've bled.

Once he was through, he wafted his hand in front of his mouth to diffuse the stench. "Woo! Boy, I'm in serious need of some mouthwash. Or at least a breath mint," he slurred jokingly. His eyes then made their way to hers. Those brown orbs… the way they reminded him of pools of warm chocolate pudding made his insides tingle. As soon as his wave of vertigo stopped, he was helpless to the devious smirk that slowly appeared on his lips.

He leaned one hand against the doorframe, looking up at her with raised eyebrows that made it appear like he was cooking up some scheme inside his head. Just being in her presence was making him weak in the knees. This was **not **going as planned. However, despite the fact that she was yet again making his stomach fill with swarming jellyfish, he found that he had much better control of his nerves now that he was intoxicated.

Neptune, he could get used to this.

Sandy stood with her arms crossed over her chest, tapping her foot impatiently. "Well?"

SpongeBob bit his lip and chuckled. "Well, how-de-do, Miss Cheeks! You look mighty purdy tonight!" he blurted, his two buckteeth protruding more than usual.

_What in tarnation?! _Sandy was rightfully insulted by his lousy imitation of her accent. "That ain't a very good impression of a Texan, SpongeBob."

SpongeBob waved her off, cackling like his lungs were loaded with loose junk. "Dahaha! Right you are, San-day. I didn't come here to do impressions! You know what I came here for?"

Sandy raised a brow at him. "To show me that you're in desperate need of a shower and a change of clothes?"

SpongeBob shook his head dizzily and leaned forward. "No! W-What gave you that idea?"

"I have eyes, SpongeBob."

He scoffed before smiling and walking his fingers up her helmet. "Oh, yes, you do, Sandy. And let me just say they are **stunning**, girlfriend."

Sandy squinted one eye at him and watched his hand travel up her helmet. She gently grabbed it and pushed it back toward his body. This was getting to be a bit creepy. "Well, uh, thanks… I guess. That's real nice of ya to say, but I'm afraid I don't understand- "

SpongeBob interrupted her, wiping the drool from his mouth. "Ha! You don't gotta try to understand NOTHIN' I say, Sandy-baby. You already understand… _everything_ in the whole world…" he spread his hands through the air, making a grand gesture. "'Cause you're so dang smart!"

His slurred words, messy clothes, missing sock – these signs were all too familiar to Sandy. "You're drunk, aren't ya?"

SpongeBob rubbed the side of his head, looking at her confusedly. "Pardon? W-what was that?"

"I **said** you're drunk! If nothin' else, I can tell by the way you're talkin'. SpongeBob, you gotta stop hangin' out at the Goofy Goober's so dang much. It's poison for your brain."

"Pssh, please! I'll have you know I haven't been to Goofy Goober's in… " he looked down at his hand, using his fingers to count. "Two months!"

"Oh? Then how do ya explain all the white stains all over ya? Sure looks like ice cream to me."

He waved her off and looked to the side. "Well, Sandy, if you must know, I just so happened to be at Larry's beach party tonight with Patrick."

Sandy pursed her lips to the side. She knew that was probably the next logical explanation. "Larry, huh? He was havin' a party?"

He nodded. "Yep. He **sure** was, Sandy. And do ya know what? It was **SO** much fun," he said, raising his voice until it was high-pitched. "we played games, and ate snacks, and danced around in the sand till our socks were filled with it! Well, _my _socks anyway. Oh, and I won a keychain in the ice cream contest, see?" he quickly pulled out the silver chain and dangled it in front of her face while smiling hard. "Patrick was so jealous," he laughed smugly.

Sandy pushed his hand away, her expression showing her unamused feelings. "Uh-huh, I'll bet he was. But I'll also bet he's glad he ain't hangin' around you at the moment."

SpongeBob stepped forward, nearly pressing his nose against her helmet. "Just what are you insinuating, **San-day**? Hmm?" she was about to speak until he slapped a finger on the glass where her mouth would be. "Nuh-uh-uh! I know what you're trying to say. You're trying to say that _Patrick_ isn't as sloppy of a drunk as I am, aren't you? Well, allow me to tell you that he was _just_ as wobbly in the legs as I am right now, **and** he was mumbling more nonsense than I was after we left the party! What do ya gotta say to that?"

Sandy grabbed his wrist and pulled him inside. "I say it's time to sober you up so that you don't fall into a ditch on your way home." When they reached the inside of the dome, she handed him his water helmet.

SpongeBob stumbled on his feet while attempting to place the helmet over his head. "Oh, **please**. I can walk just fine, see? I'm not gonna fall into any ditch… whoa… WHOA!"

After taking off her own helmet, Sandy turned around and gasped to see that he was about to hit the grass. She quickly slipped an arm under his back to catch him and held onto his hand with her other hand. "Careful! Ya see what I mean? Jeez, I don't know how you can enjoy eatin' that ice cream to the point of stumblin' off your feet like that." She shook her head.

She looked back down at his face and saw his cheeks flushing with a big smile. "Oh, it's easy, Sandy." He wrapped his arms around her neck and curled his legs up, forcing her to hold him like a baby. "I can't resist it! It's ooey-gooey and so full of flavor! If you weren't such a stick-in-the-sand, you'd eat it until you're like me."

"That ain't on my list of priorities." She sighed and set him down on the ground. She then proceeded to walk toward the treehouse, only to be stopped once she noticed that he was still hanging around her neck. "SpongeBob, let go, please."

He giggled. "Aw, what's the matter? Are we afraid of a little hugsy-wugsy?"

She rolled her eyes. "No. I just ain't in the mood to babysit. Now GET. OFF." She pried him off her and grabbed onto his hand again, dragging him away.

"Where are we going?"

"To the treehouse. I'm gonna boil you up the most powerful thing I know of that'll drain that stuff right out of ya and make you as sober as a farmer brandin' a cow." She kept her eyes straight forward and did her best to smile. He was her friend and she was willing to do anything to help him, but he wasn't making it easy with how touchy-feely he was being. She had never seen him act this way before, and it was really getting on her nerves in more ways than one.

SpongeBob's eyes lit up. "Ooh! Are you cooking me up a cup of hot cocoa with marshmallows?" he asked, his tone of voice filled with childlike innocence.

"No, I'm tryin' to sober you up, not make ya more drunk with _more_ sugar." She grunted frustratingly.

He pouted. "Aw, darn it! That's no fun." He was still very much out of touch with himself, which left the door open for his messy thoughts to be centered around nothing other than the squirrel of his dreams. So far, he wasn't doing a very good job of proving Patrick wrong; he was only proving him right.

A few minutes later as SpongeBob leaned back lazily on Sandy's couch, flipping through the channels on her television, he blinked slowly and breathed shallowly. He looked up toward the kitchen, raising his voice. "What's takin' so long, Sandy? Where's my hot cocoa?"

Sandy rolled her eyes while swirling around a wooden spoon in the old, red pot sitting over a hot fire on her stove. "I told ya, it ain't hot chocolate, SpongeBob."

"Then what is it?" he asked, draping a heavy arm over his face.

In answer to his question, Sandy came and sat down next to him with a beige mug full of a mysterious, steaming concoction.

"It's a specially-formulated tea created for soberin' up even the drunkest of folks. It's been in my family for many years, and it ain't failed us once." She carefully handed him the hot beverage.

SpongeBob sat up and stared down at the pure-black liquid. He gently swayed back and forth as his vision went in and out of focus. "W-What's in it?"

She folded her arms over her chest and leaned back. "Just a special blend of the finest tea leaves dry land has to offer." She smiled, grabbing the remote and changing the channel.

SpongeBob looked at the beverage, then at her. A mischievous smile appeared on his yellow lips. "Oh, really? That's interesting, Sandy. Hey, I have an idea!"

She looked at him with a blank expression.

"Why don't we share it?" he smiled, holding it up to her face.

Sandy's eyes immediately bugged out of her head at his suggestion. "I-I'm sorry," she shook her head. "What did you just say?"

SpongeBob raised an eyebrow and scooted closer to her, lifting the cup until it touched her mouth. "Why don't we share it? It smells so good, Sandy. I can't _not_ share it."

Sandy subtly shifted away from him, tilting her head back. She gently pushed his hand away and shook her head once more. "N-No, thanks, SpongeBob. I ain't the one in need of soberin' up." She crossed one leg over the over, even with the weight of him leaning against her. "Besides, why would ya wanna share your germs with me anyway? It ain't the smart or sanitary thing to do, you know?"

SpongeBob leaned in closer, smiling like a brat. "Oh, **I know**, Sandy. But don't worry, there aren't any germs in it as of right now. My lips haven't even touched the cup yet."

Something within his eyes told her that those lips of his had plans to touch something _else_ besides the mug. Sandy had had enough of this weird behavior and yanked it from him. She pulled his helmet off and poured the tea into the water, then placed it back over his head. "Just drink it, SpongeBob."

The sponge sighed. "Well, I guess I have no **choice** now, do I?" he turned and tried to glare at her, but it only ended up looking like a twitch from a crazy person.

* * *

_Twenty minutes later…_

The sponge stumbled out of the bathroom and held onto the wall. Sandy turned around and looked at him, her arms crossed over her chest. "Well, feelin' sober yet?" she asked smugly.

SpongeBob belched once again and patted himself on the stomach. "No, but my bladder feels better now that it's empty."

The crooked and delirious smile on his face made Sandy facepalm and sigh. Why the barnacles didn't that drink work?! Perhaps it wasn't potent enough. "Ugh, this doesn't make **ANY** sense!" she rested her palms on her kitchen counter.

Suddenly, she felt two skinny arms wrap around her waist from behind. She looked up, noticing the sponge was no longer in the doorway.

"Oh, _lots_ of things don't make sense, Sandy. Dahaha! In fact, **nothing** makes sense anymore!"

"You could say that again. What in tarnation are you doin', SpongeBob?!"

He pressed himself against her back and squeezed her tighter. "Aww, I just needed a little hug, Sandy-bear!"

She was surprised by how strong he was. He was practically crushing her rib cage with his arms!

Sandy peeled him away and turned around to face him, gripping his shoulders. "What has gotten into you, SpongeBob?!"

The sponge chuckled and looked up at her, tapping her nose with his unsteady finger while making a 'boop!" sound.

She sighed. _Why am I askin' a __**drunk**__ person that question?_

An hour passed by, and the squirrel tried every single remedy in the book to cure the out-of-hand drunkenness that was currently plaguing her porous friend. She fed him more special drinks and dry, salty crackers, she tried playing karate with him to see if it would help to snap him back to reality, she had him bathe in a tub of ice-cold water, but absolutely nothing was working.

There was only so much one squirrel could do in a single night.

Sandy sat down underneath her tree and wiped her brow of the sweat that stained it. "Whew! Golly, I just give up! You must've **really** put it away tonight, SpongeBob. You're drunker than a frog hoppin' into a pile of mud!" she shook her head, completely out of ideas at this point.

SpongeBob plopped down on the grass next to her, out of breath. "That's okay, Sandy. Don't ya like me better like this anyway?" he looked up at her. "huh? Right?"

She looked back at him like he was out of his mind. "Heck no! I want my old buddy back, not this square little monster who's stumblin' around my treedome and makin' kissy faces at me!"

SpongeBob chuckled and leaned up against her, burying his helmet in her arm. "I don't see anything wrong with _that_, Sandy. I mean, can you really blame a guy for wanting to shower you with his affection? Hmm?" he bit his lip in a smile. "you really know how to drive someone crazy, Sandy." His speech pattern was just as jumbled as ever.

"I think you're drivin' **yourself** crazy!" she stood up, causing him to fall facedown. How could he think he had the right to say such things to her?

As much as she secretly liked this sort of attention from him, she knew better than to allow it to get to her.

While Sandy stood with her back to him, SpongeBob looked up and noticed the little radio sitting on the picnic table. A new and exciting thought entered his head.

Oh, this would get her to feel differently.

He stood up, trying to keep himself from falling. He walked over to the table and pressed a button on the radio, turning it on to the sound of static.

Sandy turned around and watched as he held his tongue out of the side of his mouth and twisted the dials, trying to find a station. "What are you doin' now, SpongeBob?" she asked, her voice becoming raspy like it did whenever she got angry.

"I'm just tryin' to…" he wobbled a bit. "find a good song to dance to, Sandy. Is that so wrong?"

"Not in of itself, but with the way that you are right now, _anything_ can turn out wrong."

After ignoring her for around fifteen more seconds, he finally landed on an oldies station. The announcer spoke through the device, informing the listeners of the next old-fashioned song that was about to be played.

SpongeBob and Sandy stared at each other from a distance until a soft, romantic Hawaiian melody began to fill their ears.

SpongeBob smirked and straightened his tie. "Now then, this should be a fun little time for us."

Sandy gave him a stern look. "Alright, SquarePants. This has gone far enough. Now, would you just- "

Before she had any more time to protest, he grabbed her by the hand and stood in a closed position with her.

"SpongeBob, did you hear anything I said?"

"Hmm?" he asked as they started sloppily dancing around the room while the sweet music played.

"I said, this has gone far enough, SpongeBob! It's gettin' really late and you need to go home."

Though her tone made no room for arguments, SpongeBob disobeyed her anyway. "Oh, Sandy. Sandy, Sandy, Sandy, Sandy, Sandy," he repeated with an amused expression while shaking his head. "You just gotta learn to have some fun every now and then! Let loose! It'll make things way easier for ya."

She pushed him away, making him stop. "It would make things **easier** if you would just listen to me instead of draggin' me all over my home."

She was about to walk away when she felt herself getting pulled back in. This time, he held her close against him, resting his head on her shoulder. He then sighed dreamily and wrapped his arms around her in a hug while swaying side to side with her in a little dance.

For a moment, she almost wanted to return the warmth he was giving her, but she hesitated. "SpongeBob, this is getting ridiculous. Don't you have to work in the morning?"

SpongeBob shrugged with his eyes closed. "Oh, don't you worry, Sandy-baby. If I'm late, then I'm late. Old-man Krabs can _**stick it**_ where the sun most certainly _does not_ shine."

Sandy was appalled at his shameful words. Since when did he ever talk about his beloved boss that way?!

She tried pulling herself away again. "That ain't a very nice thing to say, SpongeBob! And I **ain't** your 'baby'."

SpongeBob looked up at her with his drooling mouth agape. "Ohh, maybe not. But nothing changes the fact that I'm _your_ baby, Sandy. And soon, oh, I guarantee you'll wanna be _my_ baby too," he giggled.

Sandy struggled to get away the more that they waltzed around the room. "I wouldn't be too sure about that, SpongeBob. That _ain't_ gonna happen." She began to sweat.

"Oh, really? Is that what you think?"

"You're darn right it is!"

"Oo-kay, San-day. Then I guess there's only one thing left for me to do to change your tune…"

She cocked a brow and gave him a confused look before she gasped. Within a split second, he dipped her toward the floor like a suave gentleman from an old movie and leaned over her.

"SpongeBob… what- "

He proceeded to remove his helmet, causing the water inside of it to splash all over the place.

Her eyes widened. "SpongeBob! What in the name of chicken and turkey are you doin'?! You can't breathe without that, remember?"

"Oh, don't worry, Sandy. This should only take a minute or two."

A minute or _**two?!**_

She felt her heart begin to race as he looked down at her alluringly. In all the years she had known him, she had _never_ seen _that_ kind of daring expression on his little face; it was almost sultry in nature.

She studied his eyes and saw them glance down at her lips.

Was he really about to do what his look suggested?

"SpongeBob..." she clenched her teeth. "I'm warnin' you, don't- "

He interrupted her with a smirk.

Sandy shook her head rapidly. "Sp-Sponge- "

The next thing she knew, his lips were covering hers with a warm and steady kiss. Her breath hitched in her chest and she kept her eyes wide open, gazing at his closed eyes and furrowed brows. The look on his face told of how much he meant what he was doing and how long he had been holding it inside. He was, one could say, _concentrating _very hard.

Sandy lifted her hand to slap him in the face, but it froze for a few seconds once she started to fall under his spell. Soon, she found that she could not stop the shutting of her own eyelids, and she moved her hand from the air and gently pressed it against his chest, feeling the crusty stains on his shirt. This move felt out of her control.

The stubble from his five o'clock shadow brushed up against her cheeks, scratching her slightly while he buried his lips deeper into hers.

This all felt so strange coming from him. He was a child in some respects and a true man in others. And right now, the more childish side of him was nowhere to be seen. Goodness gracious, she didn't even know he had this _in him. _Who could've ever guessed?

She had no idea why she was allowing this to happen. Maybe she was just as out of her mind as he was.

She should've been karate chopping him until he fell apart, but instead, she was letting him squish those wet lips into hers like it was his job.

_And why did it feel so strangely good now?! _

After what felt like the longest kiss of the century, SpongeBob pulled away from her and stared into her eyes, breathing his hot breath over her face. A small, crooked smile appeared on his lips while his eyelids drooped, covering his orbs halfway. "Oh, _yeah," _he said, his voice lower than normal and oozing with satisfaction. "I've been waitin' a _**long **_time to do that, Miss Cheeks."

Sandy stared back at him with a confused and almost disturbed look on her face.

SpongeBob shifted his vision upward while licking his already moist lips, trying to figure out what it was that lingered on them. "You taste just like acorns, Sandy," he then said, his pupils dilating like the eyes of a kid in a candy store. "Tasty, yummy acorns," he spoke as if he was ready to pass out.

Sandy breathed heavily, trying to recover whatever oxygen she couldn't get through her nose during the kiss. And now she was worried he either might try to smother her pie hole again or faint on her.

She chose not to communicate to him that he left the strong taste of vanilla ice cream all over her own lips. It seemed none of the other food or drinks she had fed him could mask that sweet, distinct flavor.

Sandy shook her head. "Let me up now, SpongeBob. Please."

He stared blankly at her.

"Hello? Did you hear me-AH!"

Without warning, he quickly pulled her up, startling her. "Fine, Sandy," he waved her off, almost falling over. "Have it **your** way."

Sandy sighed and looked away from him, smacking a hand against her forehead in disbelief of what just happened.

She then looked back to see the sponge smiling deviously at her again. "Well," he said breathily, "what do ya think **now,** _baby?_"

Sandy wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, removing the slobber he left behind. "I think…" she breathed, "it's time to get your butt on home. You're startin' to look sick."

SpongeBob threw his head back and let out a little chuckle, holding onto his gut. "Oh, please, Sandy. I'm as strong and healthy as a…" he began to pour sweat, and his face turned green. "clam on a… hot summer's day…"

Sandy watched him slap a hand over his mouth and run over behind her tree.

She shut her eyes in disgust at hearing his retching and the spilling of his stomach contents.

_I __**just**__ trimmed __**and **__watered the grass back there, darn it!_

* * *

_~French Narrator~_

"One walk to a dark pineapple later."

"Howdy, Gary," Sandy quietly greeted the snail as she stepped into the mostly darkened living room.

The snail looked away from the flashing television and glanced up at her. "Meow? (Hi, Sandy. What are you doing here?)"

"Can't talk right now, gotta get this critter to bed before he kisses somethin' else."

Gary jumped in surprise at her words. What in the world was she talking about?

"Hey, Gary," the voice of his owner sounded. "Ahaha! I love that show!" SpongeBob said in a high-pitched tone, pointing at the program on the television.

Gary squinted and was able to make out that the sponge was draped over the squirrel's shoulder, his arms dangling over her back. The snail blinked a couple of times before looking back to the scene in front of him.

"Meow (I'm just gonna pretend I didn't see that.)"

Minutes later, Sandy flipped on the switch in SpongeBob's bedroom and carried him over to the twin-sized mattress with the purple blanket placed neatly over it.

"Alrighty, down ya go," she said, lifting his lightweight body off her shoulder and setting him down to sit on the bed.

SpongeBob wiped his mouth and shook his head, unable to focus his eyes on anything. "Thank you, Sandy," he replied in a mellow voice. His arms and legs felt very cold, and he began to shiver.

Sandy looked at him sympathetically and knew she couldn't just leave him like this. That blanket of his looked quite thin.

Even though she now felt very awkward around him since they had shared such a special, personal moment in the treedome, she still wanted to be a good friend and make sure that he was safe in his own house, inside his own little world.

It was difficult to focus, though, since every time she licked her lips, all she could taste was vanilla.

Sandy searched through his room until she found a pair of his light green pajamas that he usually wore to sleep. She came over to him, carrying the folded-up clothing and setting it down next to him. "Alright, it's time to get in your jammies, little critter."

He slowly looked up at her, his eyelids drooping. "Can you help me put them on, Sandy?"

Sandy was taken aback. "Uh…" she rubbed her arm. "Sure… I-I guess."

She watched the sponge grab onto his belt, attempting to unbuckle it. She quickly jumped forward and grabbed his hands, shaking her head. "N-No, you don't need to do that."

He looked up at her innocently, not realizing what he was about to do before she stopped him. He then nodded and they worked together to cover up what he already had on. Once they finished, she checked him over and straightened out any wrinkled material on the pajamas.

SpongeBob still sat on the edge of the bed, staring dreamily at her face.

She looked up at him with a raised brow. "What is it, SpongeBob?"

A few seconds passed before he leaned forward and hugged her. Her arms hung limp at her sides, unsure if she should hug him back.

The way he was holding her so tightly made her heart flutter, and there was nothing she could do to ignore it.

He pulled back and smiled at her. "Can you tell me a bedtime story?"

Sandy's eyes shifted around the room in thought. "Well… uh, that depends. What kind of story do ya want to hear?"

SpongeBob stared up at the ceiling, placing a hand against his cheek as he thought deeply and giddily about her question. "Hmmm… how about… the story of the sponge who kissed the pretty squirrel goodnight? It's my _favorite_ story," he giggled shyly, playfully petting her on the shoulder.

Sandy was at a loss for words. She opened her mouth to say something, then looked at the floor for a moment. "Actually, I don't think ya need to hear a bedtime story right now, SpongeBob. I think ya need to get some sleep. Now, lie down-What?! SpongeBob!"

She watched in frustration as he pressed his lips against her helmet, smearing it with a wet kiss. She peeled him away and laid him down on the bed, covering him with the blanket.

SpongeBob yawned and smiled sleepily at her. "Don't forget to tuck me in, Sandy."

The squirrel rolled her eyes and did as he asked. "There, now you're all settled. Is there anything else?"

He shook his head, his eyes slowly shutting. "No, I think that'll do, Sandy. Goodnight." He shifted his weight onto his side, causing more drool to spill out of his mouth.

Sandy stared down at him for a moment. She felt the urge to caress his cheek but restrained herself. This night was insane enough; she didn't need to add insult to injury.

She sighed. _Why do ya have to be so darn difficult and adorable at the same time? That's a deadly combination in my book. And now you've got me thinkin' crazier than a horse when it's kickin' people in the gut with its hind legs._

"Alrighty then. Goodnight, SpongeBob."

He smiled in response; his eyes now fully shut.

Sandy slowly backed out of the room and hit the light switch, taking one last look at him before closing the door. She then made her way down the stairs and passed Gary in the living room for the second time.

"Meow? (What happened tonight?)"

Sandy looked at him as she stood at the exit. "Do ya **really** wanna know?"

Gary thought about it for a moment before shaking his eyestalks.

Sandy nodded. "Are ya hungry? If you are, I can fetch ya somethin' from the kitchen."

Gary shook his eyestalks again. "Meow (Nah, I'm good. I already had my dinner.)"

Sandy was curious as to how he managed to do that without SpongeBob's help. She looked up toward the wall and noticed that half the couch was missing. Well, that figured.

She sighed and waved at him. "Well, goodnight, Gary. It was nice seein' ya."

"Meow (Goodnight.)" The snail watched her shut the door behind her, leaving him to sit in front of the television with millions of infomercials on at this late hour.

Outside, Sandy stood in the darkness and stared up at the evening stars. To think that a pleasant night of just sitting around and studying her science books had turned into this big, awkward ball of mischief was really a lot for her to take in.

As she walked home that night, she kept one hand inside of her suit and continuously brushed her fingers over her lips, remembering the feeling and taste of SpongeBob's kiss.

_Darn_ that vanilla ice cream.

* * *

**A/N: To be continued...**


	2. Chapter 2: Talk it Out

**Thanks for reading and enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own SpongeBob SquarePants or any of its characters.**

**Vanilla and Acorns**

_~French Narrator~_

"The next morning."

The bright sunlight began to rise in the ocean sky, slowly casting its warm, soothing radiance all over Bikini Bottom.

A small purple scallop sat on the edge of a rock above the neighborhood of Conch Street, crowing loudly to inform the people that it was time to get their behinds out of bed and ready themselves for the day.

Once the creature was done giving its call, it hacked its guts out from the dryness in its throat. Sometimes those little scallops got tired of waking up at the crack of dawn and screeching until their vocal cords wanted to rupture. But hey, it was part of their job to make sure that people weren't late for work, or that they got up on time to cook breakfasts for their families.

This morning, the scallop managed to wake up a certain octopus from his beauty sleep, and just when he was having a good dream, too.

Squidward's eyes shot open, seeing nothing but darkness underneath his blindfold. He inhaled a deep breath of the salty water around him and let it go. For a moment or two, he felt as though this was going to be a good day…

Until he realized he had to go to work.

He sighed heavily and lifted his blindfold, sitting up and pulling the covers off himself. "Well, another day, another nightmare-ish acid trip." He stood up, freezing once he realized the meaning of his own words. "Wait… what am I talking about? My days are too _boring_ to be acid trips. Heh, at least until the yellow idiot comes around and drugs everyone up with his laughter." He snickered.

Meanwhile, next door, the sponge in question lay on his side, which was the same position he fell asleep in the night before. His breathing was a bit heavier than normal, and he snored quietly, keeping both his hands underneath the side of his head.

All throughout the night, he didn't have one single dream to accompany his sleep, until now.

"Hmm…" he hummed dreamily, nuzzling the drool-stained pillow.

Down below, his groggy pet snail poked his eyestalks out and glanced at the foghorn alarm clock, noticing that it wouldn't be long before it would blare to awaken his owner. He then shifted his eyes upward once he heard said owner rustling around in his bed, mumbling nonsense.

"Hm," SpongeBob smiled. "Sandy…"

Gary's eyes bugged out of his shell, creating the sound effect of a releasing spring. "Meow? (What the heck?)"

SpongeBob suddenly sat up with his eyes still closed. "Hm, you're so pretty, Sandy. Come here and give ol' SpongeBob some sugar."

Gary watched the amusing yet strange scene unfolding in front of him. He witnessed the sponge grab the pillow from behind him and shove it into his own face. "Mwah! Mwah!" he pecked it with kisses.

The mollusk almost started cracking up from watching him. Well, Sandy did mention that she needed to get him to bed before he started "kissing something else."

Though this was hilarious to watch, Gary also knew that it meant that something of importance must've happened the night before to make him act this way. Sure, SpongeBob would sometimes kiss random objects, like a Krabby Patty for instance, but this was different. He was saying _Sandy's_ name, and other ridiculous things, while doing it.

Gary managed to prevent any actual laughter from escaping his mouth once SpongeBob hugged his pillow and laid back down, sighing like he was in a beautiful dreamland. "Mm, you taste… _yummy,_ Sandy. We should kiss more often, hehe." He giggled.

Gary stared up with wide eyes. "Meow! (Dang, so they really did smooch? Wow, Papa-Bob's a suave! Who knew?)"

Just in time to wake the sponge from his pleasant slumber, the alarm clock exploded with noise, vibrating the whole room and shocking SpongeBob's system into reality.

His eyes needed time to catch up with his now-aware brain. His hand automatically reached over to the clock and shut it off, then he pulled it back under the blanket. Slowly but surely, his eyelids began to crack open with crust surrounding them. The first thing that hit his vision was the brightness of the room he was in. At first, it didn't feel too bad; the light was painful to look at it, but at least he wasn't nauseated by it.

That was until the double-vision starting kicking in. That was when he realized that he was in a real pickle this morning.

He shut his eyes again and gently shook his head, slowly flipping over onto his back and resting his arm over his face. "Oh…" he moaned groggily. "What happened? I feel…" he let out a low belch. "awful…"

"Meow (You're hungover, Kissy-Pants.)" Gary teased.

The words of his snail sounded like a faint echo to his ears. He moved his arm, allowing the sun from the window to shine over his face; he was unsure if it made him feel better or worse.

SpongeBob lifted himself up, pressing his palms into the mattress while leaning forward. His head began to pound like the loud beat from a boombox, causing him to moan once more. "What did you say a few seconds ago, Gare?"

Gary pursed his lips to the side, whistling and pretending to be none the wiser. "Meow (I said… uh, 'good morning, Sleepy-Pants'.)"

"Really?" SpongeBob questioned, his heavy eyelids drooping. "I could've sworn you said something else…"

"Meow (Nope, nah-uh.)" He grinned smugly.

SpongeBob sighed and laid back against the pillow, rubbing his head. "Ugh, boy… "

The only thing he remembered in these few moments was that he was at Larry the Lobster's beach party the night before, stuffing his face with vanilla ice cream and winning a prize for doing so (_and_ getting a hideous brain freeze afterward). He also began to recollect having a conversation with Larry and some of the other guys on the beach and then wandering off with Patrick. But other than that, his mind was blank… for the time being.

"Gee, Gary. I really put it away last night in that contest." He stared at the ceiling, searching his mind for more memories of anything else that might've gone on.

Gary smirked. "Meow (Oh, I'll bet you did. Poor Sandy.)" He shook his eyestalks.

SpongeBob furrowed his brows and glanced down at the sneaky snail. "What are you talking about, Gary? What does Sandy have to do with any of it?"

"Meow? (She carried you upstairs to bed, remember?)"

SpongeBob's eyes widened in surprise. "She… she did?" he scratched the side of his head, wondering how he had even seen her in the first place. "Gosh, no. I don't remember that."

"Meow (There seems to be _a lot_ that you aren't remembering.)" The snail giggled in his own little way, leaving his confused and tired owner to try and put the pieces together.

"Gary the Snail, what are you laughing so smugly about? Did I do something to embarrass myself in front of Sandy?" he asked as seriously as he could, trying to get past his headache.

"Meow (Well… yeah, you could say that… I'm sure she probably liked it, though.)" He smirked.

SpongeBob gulped. He _really_ wished this bratty snail would stop beating around the bush the way he was; it was too early in the morning to be playing games.

"L-Liked _what?"_ he asked before someone pushed the bedroom door open. His eyes shot up to see Patrick coming over to him, carrying a glass filled with white liquid.

"Hey, buddy. Hungover?" he asked, smiling like the goofball that he was.

"_Very_," replied SpongeBob, yawning. "What are you doing here, Patrick?"

Patrick chuckled at his question, plopping down on the bed next to him. The mattress shook, causing SpongeBob's queasy stomach to turn. "Whoa, whoa! P-Patrick, be careful when you sit down, please." His eyes crossed.

Patrick glanced at him with a childish and sheepish look in his eyes. "Hehe, sorry. Anyway, I passed out in your kitchen after I ate your leftover tacos." He smiled as if there was nothing wrong with taking other people's food.

SpongeBob blinked at him. "Oh, okay," he said, oblivious. "What about your sheer lack of a hangover?"

Patrick shrugged. "Eh, I ate a lot of that ice cream, but I didn't win the contest like you did," he grinned and squinted his eyes, nudging SpongeBob in the arm like a proud brother.

SpongeBob couldn't help the embarrassed smile from forming on his lips. Patrick's stomach was made of steel, so it made sense that he could handle more sugar and not get hungover. "Oh, yeah. I guess you're right, haha."

Patrick extended the cup of white liquid in front of his friend's weary eyes. "You want some?"

SpongeBob was about to decline until he stared down into the cup, instantly smelling the rancidness of the expired beverage. Oh, boy, this was _just_ what he needed when he was already so nauseous. "Um, Patrick?" he pinched his nose. "I wouldn't drink that if I were you… I was supposed to throw that seahorse milk out three days ago."

Patrick looked into the cup was that was full of curdled chunks. Shrugging, he said, "Doesn't look or smell any worse than the milk in my own fridge. So, do you want some?"

SpongeBob shook his head as his eyes began to water. "No, thank you, Patrick."

"Hm, more for me." He tilted his head back and guzzled the cold drink, keeping his mouth wide open. Just watching him consume it without taking its nastiness into account made SpongeBob want to throw up even more.

Gary hissed and stuck his tongue out in disgust. He didn't know why it repulsed or surprised him so much; after all, that starfish was known for being a garbage disposal.

After Patrick finished, he wiped his mouth and smiled in contentment. "Ahh, that hit the spot." He didn't notice SpongeBob's eyelid twitching or the horrified look on his face.

"So," Patrick began, showing a crooked smile. "How did things go with Sandy after I left?"

SpongeBob jumped a bit as his pulse sped up, raising both his eyebrows. "W-What do you mean?"

The starfish rolled his eyes and scoffed, rocking his head back and forth. "You know, did you do what you said you were gonna do once you went inside?"

"D-D-Do… what?" SpongeBob trembled.

"Oh, come on, SpongeBob! Don't pretend like you don't remember."

The half-joking tone in his voice made SpongeBob all the more nervously curious as to what he was talking about. "B-But I _don't _remember, Patrick- "

"Okay, fine. I'll jog your memory."

_Two minutes later…_

SpongeBob stared down at the bed with narrowed eyes. "Gosh, Patrick… I can't believe I said all that. What happened after I went to her treedome?" he asked, tapping his fingers together and staring worriedly at his friend.

Patrick shrugged. "I don't know, that's why I was asking _you_ what happened. I got hungry and left before you even got inside. Oh, wait… no, I fell on my face first, and _then_ I left," he smiled, nodding to himself.

SpongeBob began to sweat. He felt the need to tear his pajamas off, as it was getting to be quite hot in the room. Other than what his pink friend had just refreshed his memory about, his mind was still as blank as a sheet of paper. The "not knowing" of what happened in Sandy's home was really starting to take a toll on him, and the fact that both Gary and Patrick were teasing him in many different ways and seemed to know more details than he did wasn't making things any easier.

SpongeBob smiled sheepishly, wiping away the sweat on his forehead. "Ahaha! Well, I'm sure that whatever it was that happened, it must've not been important enough for me to remember." He reached down and opened up his pajama shirt, revealing his wrinkled, stained clothing.

"Hmm… that's funny," he chuckled nervously. "I really must've been out of it not to take my old clothes off from last night. Whew! What a trip."

Patrick studied his shirt and scratched the fabric with his finger, removing some of the crustiness from it. "Hm, yeah. It's almost like someone else besides yourself helped you get dressed." He said, using his "smart person" voice.

"Dahaha!" SpongeBob waved him off and rolled his eyes. "'Someone else', oh, that's a good one… Patrick…"

His pink friend watched the sponge's smile fade and his eyes fill with a flashflood of realization and anxiety.

SpongeBob slowly looked down at his shirt and placed a hand against his own chest, remembering the feeling that someone else's hand was there before. "Patrick?"

"Yeah?"

"I… think you may be right." He stared into space. "I think someone else _did_ help me get dressed… and you know what happened earlier _before_ that?"

"You threw up?"

SpongeBob nodded. "Yes, Patrick, I did…" he began breathing faster as his eyes got wider and wider. "I threw up… right after I…"

Right then and there, every single occurrence from the night before struck him like lightning in a raging thunderstorm. Sandy dragging him into her house and trying to sober him up, him hanging all over her and flirting with her, dancing with her against her will, mentioning something about "sticking it" to Mr. Krabs, and finally…

SpongeBob's mouth was agape, and his eyes were covered with shock. "Oh my gosh, Patrick, I…" he looked at him, panting.

"You're hungry?"

"No! I… I… I… I…"

"You wet the bed in the middle of the night?"

"**No!** I… I…"

"Well, come on, SpongeBob! At least give me a hint! I hate suspense!"

SpongeBob grabbed onto Patrick's flabby chest and screamed, "I… _**kissed **_Sandy!"

"Meow! (Yes! He comes out and admits it! Haha!)"

SpongeBob began to cry tears of shame. "Oh my gosh! Oh… my… **GOSH!** I… I can't believe it, Patrick! I can't believe I kissed Sandy!"

Patrick was surprised by the overdramatic, emotional reaction of his friend. Yes, he usually _did_ overreact a lot, but this was the worst he'd seen in a while. "What's the big deal? You looked at Sandy like she was a dream come true, slicked-back your spongy hair, puckered your lips and- "

"IT'S A **HUGE** DEAL, PATRICK!" he exclaimed, accidentally spitting in his face. "Sandy's one of my bestest friends, and I… oh, I… _took advantage_ of her lips and smothered her like a fiend!" he buried his face in his hands.

"Well, at least it proves I was right."

SpongeBob looked up at him, tears dripping down from his eyes. "Right about what?"

"That you're a **squirrel-lover**."

"OHHHH!" the sponge cried hysterically, flooding the room with a pool of tears that lifted Gary off the ground and made him float around.

Patrick patted him on the back. "Hey, it's okay, buddy. Things happen."

"Not _these_ kinds of things, Patrick." He sniffled. "I turned on that stupid radio and forced her to dance with me. And I took one look at her and…" his eyes began to spill more tears. "She looked so beautiful, Patrick. Oh, I just couldn't help myself! OH, I'M SUCH AN ANIMAL!" he sobbed into his hands.

"Those things do happen… they just happen more often in movies I guess," Patrick stated plainly.

SpongeBob jumped off the bed and stood in his own pool of tears, shaking his head in dolefulness while pulling a plug in the floor to drain the water. "I had my way with her, Patrick. And now our friendship is probably **ruined** because I couldn't control my _filthy_ lips! I'm so ashamed!"

The sponge couldn't even fathom the thought that he had let himself get _that_ wasted at Larry the Lobster's stupid party, and then just invade Sandy's space the way that he did. He had always had a crush on her but didn't let it get in the way of their friendship. Now that she knew what his _true_ feelings were, he was very much afraid to find out what her reaction was going to be the next time they saw each other.

_If_ they saw each other.

Patrick stared at his friend with a thoughtful expression. "You know what _I'm_ ashamed of?"

SpongeBob turned and looked at him.

"That I said no to that sea-nut butter swirl last night! Gah! It looked _so_ appetizing." He crossed his arms over his chest like a twelve-year-old boy.

* * *

_~French Narrator~_

"Later, at the Krusty Krab."

It had been a very long day at Mr. Krab's fast-food restaurant. SpongeBob arrived right on time with a freshly shaven face and clean clothes, and his eyes appeared very alert and enthusiastic as usual, but the way he was feeling on the inside was a different story.

He worked through his normal morning routine after clocking in, preparing the place for hungry customers. Hours passed, and the lunch rush came and went.

It was now four in the afternoon, and the restaurant was still booming with all kinds of fish-folks. Everything in the dining area seemed all fine and dandy, but it wasn't the same inside the kitchen.

SpongeBob stood at the grill flipping patties and working up a sweat while doing so. He'd be lying if he told himself that he _hadn't_ been looking up at the clock on the wall every few minutes, anxious to get out of this place and go hide under his bed at home. He didn't want to risk running into her after… _that_ happened late the other night.

SpongeBob stared with narrowed, troubled eyes as the clink and clank of peoples' dishes out in the restaurant filled his ears. Today it seemed that his hearing was extra sharp, allowing him to overhear the conversations between random people.

"Say, have you guys seen that new _kissing_ movie yet? It was really great!" said a man sitting at a table with his two friends.

SpongeBob's eyes locked themselves into place on the wall until he stood on his tiptoes, peeking above the window.

The female fish sitting across from the other gentleman sighed happily. "Oh, yes! It was _so_ romantic! And the way that suave, _devilishly _handsome man-fish swooped in and _kissed_ that woman so passionately…" she swooned, placing the back of her fin against her forehead. "Oh, I just _love_ a man who knows what he wants!"

The third person, who was another male fish, scoffed at the two for liking such a cheesy film. "Oh, brother. You two are such saps! Why, I thought it was gross how that guy just showed up and smeared his slobber all over that poor woman's mouth! I mean, he didn't even ask her, he just came and _took it!_ What a selfish barnacle!"

Each word that came out of their mouths felt like someone was pelting SpongeBob in the face with sharp rocks. They _hurt_ him so badly and made him feel so terrible for what he did. Was he _really_ as bad as the guy in the movie? Or was he just overthinking it?

_Oh, dear Neptune, who am I kidding?! I'm __**worse!**_

SpongeBob leaned away from the grill to avoid getting burned and to try and free himself from listening in to any more of that conversation. He looked up at the clock again.

_Four-thirty_, he thought. _Only an hour and a half to go before I can-_

"SpongeBob!"

"I'M SORRY! I COULDN'T HELP IT! SHE JUST LOOKED SO BEAUTIFUL AND HER LIPS WERE RIGHT THERE, WAITING FOR MINE!"

Squidward stared with a muddled expression at the rapidly breathing sponge. Whatever this moron was going on about couldn't have been any stupider than what he usually blabbed about.

"Uh…" Squidward cocked a brow and gave a nod. "Yeah. I just needed to know when those two deluxe patties are gonna be ready; these two nitwits with scales out here are really starting to annoy me."

"Hey! We're right here, ya know!" said a male fish, standing in front of the register with his friend.

Squidward ignored them and continued to stare at a flushed SpongeBob. "Well?"

"Um, d-don't worry, Squidward. They're almost done," he forced a smile, which just came off as creepy in Squidward's eyes.

"Uh-huh. Hey, by the way, what was that you were screaming about a minute ago? You know, the thing about a girl's lips?"

SpongeBob shook his head and gulped, holding the spatula behind his back while he sweated his face off. "Oh, that? Dahaha! It was nothing. I didn't mean anything by it."

The octopus saw the worry on his face and knew it would be fun to tease him. "Oh! Are you _sure?_ Because to _me_, it sounds like you're **hiding something**, SpongeBob. Something that has to do with a ki- "

"ORDER UP!" SpongeBob stuck his spatula underneath the two patties and flung them onto Squidward's face, making him scream in pain.

"AHHH! MY EYES! AHHHH!" he flailed his arms until he stumbled out of the boat and onto the floor, running into a woman and squishing her against the wall. Once she gathered what had just happened, she looked up and saw a man with steaming patties over his eyes, leaning toward her with a drooling mouth, while his tentacles were pressed on the wall, trapping her.

The fish-lady gasped and furrowed her brows at him. "Get away! MASHER!" she hit him over the head with her purse, knocking him to the ground and leaving him there. Moments later, she came back and kicked him in one of his knees, then walked away again.

"Oww…" Squidward groaned, laying flat on his back with his limbs stretched out.

At this point, the two fishes who had been waiting for their deluxe patties headed for the doors, shaking their heads. Luckily, Mr. Krabs hadn't caught sight of them leaving, or else he would've started crying from the loss of money.

Mr. Krabs came scuttling up to Squidward, shaking his head in disapproval while he stared down at him. "I ain't payin' ya to take naps on the floor, Mr. Squidward! And I don't want ya usin' me patties as a blindfold!"

"Sorry, Squidward!" SpongeBob called from the kitchen. He ducked his head back through the window and came out into the restaurant, watching his coworker angrily swipe the patties off his face and walk into the men's room.

SpongeBob genuinely felt bad for what he had done, but he knew what Squidward was about to say before it happened, and it caused him to panic. If only he could just learn not to blurt things out so loudly, then he wouldn't get himself _or_ others in trouble.

Just then, the sponge felt a strong, sharp grasp on his shoulder, causing him to stand stiffly and fearfully. He was scared to death of who could be standing behind him with such a good grip.

_Please don't be Sandy, __**please**__ don't be Sandy…_

"Hey, bro! Did you enjoy my party last night?"

The tension within SpongeBob's body disappeared once he heard that familiar Alpha-male voice. He turned around to greet Larry with a nervous smile. "Oh, h-hey there, Larry! Oh, yeah! It really was… _some_ party, heh, heh."

Larry the Lobster stood with his claws on his hips, giving the sponge a warm smile. "Haha, thanks! I'm glad you had fun. The guys and I were just busy talking about you and that whole ice cream contest! You _really_ put it away, dude! It was impressive. No one's been able to eat that much spiked ice cream in one sitting without losing their cookies."

SpongeBob watched as the lobster looked back at his meathead friends, chuckling as if nothing was the matter. He couldn't believe what he had just heard. While it was true that ice cream had the power to get him "drunk" because it was potent enough to act like alcohol in his delicate system, it still never managed to make him feel as intensely intoxicated as the night before. That also partially explained why he had vomited in Sandy's treedome (aside from the fact that he had Jellyfish in his stomach from kissing her).

"S-S-Sp-Spiked, you say?" asked SpongeBob, his eyes wide with horror.

Larry gave him a firm nudge in the shoulder. "Yeah!" he bent down and whispered into his ear. "And between you and me, that stuff was the _strongest _alcohol in the entire ocean! It's called the…" he leaned in closer and named the specific drink he was speaking about; it had a long title that would give someone a hangover just from reading it.

Larry stood up straight and noticed the disturbed look on the little guy's face. "Haven't you ever had booze before, SpongeBob?"

The innocent sponge shook his head. "N-No, Larry, I haven't. Heh, I've never even _seen_ the stuff until last night," he looked down at the floor to hide his blush.

Larry and his friends looked at each other in disbelief. "Aw, come on, bro! You've got to be joking."

"I'm not."

"You mean you're thirty-two- "

"Thirty-three now, Larry."

"Right, sorry. Forgot we celebrated your birthday a while ago. As I was saying, you're thirty-three years old, a grown man who's had the chance to live it up on the wild side, and you've _never_ gotten drunk?" he spoke as if it was the most insane concept he'd ever heard in all his life. "I can't believe it."

SpongeBob shrugged, feeling indifferent. "Well, t-that's not entirely true, Larry. I _have_ gotten drunk before…"

One of Larry's friends decided to share his confusion. "But how's that even possible if you've never had booze, man?"

SpongeBob bit his lip and searched the eyes of each individual. This might be a huge mortifying mistake he was about to make, but he might as well be truthful. He had embarrassed himself enough lately.

"Have you guys ever heard of a place called "Goofy Goober's'?"

They all glanced at each other and shrugged. "It sounds a _little_ familiar… isn't it that kiddy ice cream shop where people go to clog their arteries with saturated fat?"

SpongeBob resisted the urge to shut his eyes from that description. Larry was obsessed with fitness and healthy eating, so, of course, he would look down upon a place that stood for satisfying one's sweet tooth.

"Um… yeah, that's the place, haha," SpongeBob replied with a nervous little laugh.

Everyone stared at him, waiting for him to continue.

SpongeBob gulped and looked up at all the hunky musclebound men. "Anyway, that's… the place I go to get 'drunk', Larry."

The lobster was dumbfounded. "You mean… you _actually_ get drunk off of **ice cream**?"

The sponge nodded, preparing himself for whatever insults they might throw at him. "Yep. I know it sounds ridiculous and stupid, but- "

"It's hilarious!" exclaimed Larry. They all threw their heads back and shared a big laugh, catching the sponge completely off guard.

SpongeBob moved his mouth for a few seconds, trying to utter words. "I-It is?"

"It sure is! I mean, your little spongy body is most likely very sensitive, so anything, including a sugar high and sugar _crash_, would probably send you overboard."

"So… then you guys _don't_ think it's stupid?"

Larry placed a claw on his shoulder in reassurance and smiled at him. "No way, bro. Hey, if that's what floats your boat, then go for it. But I'm tellin' ya, you should consume the _real_ stuff more often; you say some very interesting things when you're wasted." He smirked at him, making SpongeBob wonder just what those "things" were that were probably going to make this situation feel ten times worse.

"Uhh… w-what did I say?" he asked, twisting his tie like it was a toy that relieved stress.

Larry shook his head with an amused grin, pressing the sponge against his side. "Well, let's just say we all _know_ how you feel about a certain squirrel who lifts weights," he wiggled his eyebrows while his other friends uttered some admirable "bro-talk" about him.

SpongeBob was visibly shaking and felt a lump forming in his throat. So, _that_ must've been the little conversation he had remembered having with them.

"O-Oh, y-you guys don't really _believe _anything I said, do you? I mean, I was just talking out of my sponge holes! What else would you expect from someone who's… ya know, _new_ to actual alcohol?" he chuckled, hoping they'd give him the answer he was looking for. If they did, he could walk away from this conversation feeling a little bit better. If they didn't…

"Oh, of course, we do, bro! I mean, how can we not when you were going _on and on_ about Sandy?" Larry and the others laughed, which almost felt like they were taunting him at this point.

Well, that was _not_ the answer he wanted to hear. And he _didn't_ feel better.

SpongeBob's eyes drifted off to the floor as his heart sank to his feet. _Oh my gosh… what have I done? I'm a horrible, __**horrible**__ person!_

"Yeah! And what about when he kept mentioning how much he wanted to kiss her and smother her with his 'vanilla lips'?" one of Larry's friends joked.

While SpongeBob's face turned redder than a ripe tomato, Larry looked down at him with piqued curiosity. "Yeah, did you kiss her after the party, bro?"

SpongeBob kept his face low but shifted his eyes upwards, then darted them all over the place. "Well… I, uh…" his voice was barely audible.

All the meatheads looked at each other and smiled with smugness. They started cheering amongst each other and high fiving with their fins. "Hey, he shoots, he scores! Am I right?" one of them said, unashamed by how gross his words sounded.

SpongeBob furrowed his brows after hearing such a remark. To them, it was a typical way of saying that a guy "scores" a girl if he gets to kiss her. But to SpongeBob, it was just plain disrespectful and demeaning. The fact that they treated women like objects made him sick, but then he was reminded of the fact that he himself had stolen a kiss from Sandy when he had no right to.

Right now, he viewed himself as no better than these jerks, but at least he actually cared about Sandy and had done what he did out of the passion he had for her; the alcohol only fueled said passion and made him actually go through with it, when he would've probably never done it on his own.

SpongeBob didn't have to say another word for them to come to their own conclusions about what went down. "Hey, good for you, dude. Sandy's lucky," said Larry, shaking the sponge while keeping his arm around him.

SpongeBob stared at the floor with bags forming underneath his eyes. "No, she isn't, Larry." He stated flatly, surprising them.

Larry scoffed and held his giant arms out, wondering why the little sponge would disagree about something like this. "What are you talking about, bro?"

SpongeBob looked up at all of them sternly and balled up his fists. "What I'm _talking about_, Larry, is the fact that I took something from her that I had no right to take. Sandy's my friend and I care a lot about her, even more than any of you could ever know."

The men all looked at each other after hearing the seriousness within his tone. They were joking around no more than two seconds before, and now it seemed like some big tragedy had occurred.

Larry looked down at him, speaking as calmly as possible. "Oh, believe me, we know that, dude. You care a lot about _everybody_, but you gotta remember that Sandy's just a chick- "

"A CHICK?! Sandy's the nicest, friendliest, most intelligent creature in the _whole sea,_ and you say she's just _**a chick?!**_"

They all backed away as he began shouting, waving his arm at them to prove his point. Larry was most startled by his outburst. "Whoa, calm down, bro!"

"Yeah, chill out!" said one of his friends.

"I **will not** chill out! I won't just stand here and let you talk about one of my bestest friends that way! Look, Larry, I get that you and your friends here are used to using women as your arm candy, but let me just tell you, you should all be **ashamed** of yourselves! Just like _I'm _ashamed of _myself_ for kissing Sandy, and the things I said about her. And I'm gonna have to live with that shame for a long time." His voice mellowed out at the end of his statement, and he had to restrain himself from crying.

It didn't matter that he had stopped yelling, because everyone in the restaurant had already stopped what they were doing and were all staring at the scene.

"Women are people too, Larry, and they should be treated as such. We can't just go around taking things from them… which is exactly what I did last night, and… I couldn't hate myself more for it."

The place grew completely silent as the sponge stared at the floor, a few tears finally escaping his eyes. Well, he didn't want anyone to know about the fact that he kissed Sandy, and now it felt like _everyone_ in Bikini Bottom knew.

Mr. Krabs had heard the whole thing and came scuttling over to his employee, rubbing him gently on the shoulder. "It's okay, lad. So, ye got a little tipsy and were feelin' romantic, and ye decided to kiss the lass. There ain't no shame in showin' someone how you feel," he spoke softly, which did manage to bring a little comfort to the sponge.

SpongeBob looked up at him with a sad expression. He knew his boss was just trying to make him feel better, but he felt as though he was undeserving of it. "Thanks, Mr. Krabs. But I could've shown Sandy how I feel in a much better way that wouldn't have ruined our friendship," he shook his head.

Mr. Krabs offered him a meek smile. "Ye don't know that ye ruined it for sure, Boy-O. For all ye know, it's possible Sandy might've been glad that ye did what ye did. Ye won't know unless ye see her and have a talk with her." It was times like these when the crustacean showed his more fatherly side to the boy and pulled back his selfish, stingy attitude that, while hilarious to view at times, was ultimately difficult to deal with.

Right now, SpongeBob was very grateful that the crab was showing this side of himself. As hard as his advice was going to be to take, he knew he made a good point. "I guess you're right, Mr. Krabs. I _should_ have a talk with Sandy… that is if she still wants to see me," he said, his tone lacking the hope necessary to go through with his boss's suggestion.

Larry stepped forward and looked at SpongeBob, rubbing the back of his shell. "Hey, listen, bro, I'm really sorry about what I said… Sandy's a great girl. Really, she is. I hope you can forgive me and my friends, dude." He gestured behind him at all the men who had guilty expressions on their faces.

SpongeBob pressed his lips together, feeling just as guilty as they were. "It's okay, Larry. I'm sorry I kind of lost my head there for a minute, haha. I guess we _all_ acted wrongly here today."

"Except for _me!_ I didn't do anything wrong, and I got scorched in the eyes, hit in the head with a purse that was harder than a bowling ball, _and_ now my knee is bruised!" exclaimed Squidward, crossing his arms while standing at the register. Poor octopus, always getting unfairly punished.

_A little while later…_

It was now past six o'clock, and SpongeBob was reluctantly heading for the backdoor of the kitchen, planning to go to Sandy's house to have that little "talk" with her about what happened.

_Okay._ He took a deep breath as he now stood outside in the darkening atmosphere. _I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. Can I do this? Yes, yes! I can do this. I can-WHOA!_

He was concentrating so hard on his mission that he wasn't even paying attention to the walkway in front of him. He had crashed into someone and fallen on the ground. He shook his head several times, trying to see more clearly. "Oh, I'm so sorry! I didn't see you there- "

Once his vision focused, his eyes became fixed on the pair of grey boots standing in front of him. He slowly looked up, and the next thing he noticed was the reflection of the streetlight on her helmet.

He gulped. This wasn't what he was expecting to happen _at all. _

"S-S-Sandy?"

She sighed. "Hey, SpongeBob. We need to talk."

* * *

**A/N: Ooo-kay, welp… I hope this chapter wasn't too weird or too "out there" in some way lol. I wasn't trying to be "preachy" or anything like that. I do apologize if it came off that way, or if I offended anybody. Anyways, the final part will be coming soon, so stay tuned and again, thank you for reading. :)**


	3. Chapter 3: Mutual Feelings

**Hey! So, here's the final chapter of this little story. Thanks for the reviews and please enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own SpongeBob SquarePants or any of its characters.  
**

**Vanilla and Acorns**

As the warm, orange, glowing sun was just beginning to dip itself into the horizon the way that a soft, watery paintbrush is dipped into a dollop of paint, downtown Bikini Bottom was wrapped up in a cozy blanket of couples that were walking jollity along the sidewalks, holding fins and looking into shop windows, giggling and staring at each other flirtatiously – much to the uncomfortableness of the sponge and squirrel, who were strolling their way past the fish-folks in silence.

Every couple of minutes, SpongeBob would glance up at Sandy with that same look he had on his face whenever he was stressed out or worried deeply about someone. As for Sandy, she was trying to avoid his gaze as much as possible, and just kept her eyes straight ahead.

They had been going on like this for the past fifteen minutes. All that Sandy could think about within that time was how the little conversation they had agreed on having was going to go. Well, by now, she knew that they should've already been discussing the _very awkward_ matter at hand, but how do a couple of good friends just come out and start chatting about the fact that their lips had touched for the very first time?

Sandy knew that the little sponge wasn't in the right state of mind when he forced himself on her; he was experiencing a sugar rush and felt different on the inside. Though a kiss from someone as childish as him did come as a shock to the scientist, she knew that it was probably just a case of him letting the sweets get to his head, which resulted in the more affectionate side of him showing itself.

Well, SpongeBob was _always_ affectionate toward _everybody,_ but the kind of affection he showed her that night was not something she _ever_ expected to see from him.

Within the last twenty or so hours since it had happened, Sandy had done everything in her mental power to try and convince herself that he couldn't have meant what he did; he couldn't have meant it when he had dipped her toward the floor like she was his wife and stared at her with that romantic, fiery look in his eyes.

He couldn't have meant it when he had disobeyed her with that smirk and smashed his lips into hers with a passion that felt like it came straight from his heart.

Oh, but no matter how much she continued to deny it, she knew that he did.

As for SpongeBob, there was no doubt in his mind that he meant what he did. He just resented himself for forcing those passions on her and was currently trying to think of a way to apologize to her, without it feeling too awkward.

He had to make this right, even if it was going to kill him on the inside.

The two had stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. The sponge looked up at her with that same uneasy expression, rubbing his knuckle with the palm of his other sweaty hand. "Um, Sandy? D-Don't you think it's time we- "

Sandy was busy staring into the window of a little café, scanning the tables inside to see how crowded it might be. SpongeBob frowned, noticing she wasn't paying any attention. The squirrel was doing this every two minutes or so in an attempt to find the most private place possible for them to speak.

Once she turned back to face him, they automatically locked eyes, which was uncomfortable for both of them. "What'd ya say, SpongeBob?"

"I-I said… don't you think it's time we… you know," he rubbed the back of his head. "talked about this?"

Sandy sighed and bit her lip, unable to hide the stress that was emanating from her face. "Well, yeah. I'm aware that it's time, SpongeBob, but I also think it's important to find just the right place to- "

"OH, PLEASE, SANDY!"

Everyone walking on the streets, sidewalks, and even people sitting in their cars, stopped what they were doing to watch the sponge fall on one knee in front of her, taking one of her hands in both of his and looking up at her with watery, desperate eyes.

"Uh, SpongeBob?" Sandy asked quietly, leaning down a bit while keeping her eyes on the few people gathering around them. "SpongeBob, this _ain't_ the best time to- "

"Oh, Sandy! I'm so sorry! Believe me, I really am! When I was **holding **you in my arms and I saw your _lustrous _lips and other delicate features- "

"_Delicate_ features? You've gotta be kidding. Just look at those buck teeth!" spat a male fish, pointing a fin at the squirrel and causing a few people to laugh along with him. Moments later, more insults from random people were thrown, sending Sandy over the edge.

Sandy glared at them and paid no attention to the sponge on one knee. "Say somethin' else, and I'm gonna show ya what _other_ parts of me ain't so delicate," she warned, gritting her teeth.

SpongeBob squeezed her hand, signaling her to look back down at him.

"Sandy, please, listen to me. I didn't know what I was doing! I…" he looked at the ground for a moment, carefully considering his words. "W-Well, in a way, I kind of did, but I didn't! Well… no, wait… didn't I?! OH, see? Even now, I'm not making any sense at all! Sandy, I'm sorry. I just couldn't help myself! Oh, PLEASE, SANDY! I'M SO ASHAMED! Please don't hate me, please!" he sobbed.

Sandy swallowed hard as she observed his fervent, teary-eyed gaze. Why did he have to make things so hard and make a fool of himself in public like this?

"SpongeBob…" she shook her head.

A few people that were standing across the street and didn't know exactly what was going on, gasped in shock at the sight of the young man on one knee, holding the young woman's hand in a certain manner that suggested something to them.

A young fish-lady slapped her fins against her cheeks. "Oh my goodness! Look, everyone! That little man is proposing!" she exclaimed with happy tears welling up in her eyes.

"Aww!" all the people gushed.

"Let's get over there, so we can see the ring!" said a male fish. He and multiple other people came rushing over while the coast was _not_ clear in the crosswalk.

SpongeBob and Sandy glanced at each other nervously, knowing which direction this was going in.

Just then, as they walked across the way, dozens of cars on opposite ends of the street screeched on their wheels in an attempt to steer clear of them, but they all ended up crashing into one another while the group of people huddled together in fear.

"Hey! Stop standin' in the middle of the street!" yelled a man, shaking his fist out of his boat window.

"Yeah! Just what do ya think you're doin'? Tryin' to get yourselves killed?!" said Mr. Krabs, leaning forward in his own boat with furrowed brows.

"I'll say! It's always been _my_ job to annihilate people!" Plankton angrily exclaimed from his tiny boat, which just so happened to be sitting _right_ underneath Mr. Krabs's boat wheel.

The group of people finally ran to the other side, clearing the way for the traffic.

"Now, that's more like it!" said Mr. Krabs, returning to his chipper mood while turning up his radio and revving his loud engine.

Plankton gulped in fear, looking up behind him. "Wait a minute, Krabs! WAIT!"

The crustacean either didn't hear the little green booger, or he just didn't give a barnacle, because the next thing he did was step on the accelerator and zoom forward, squashing Plankton like an insect.

Once the exhaust from the tailpipe dissipated, Plankton was left as nothing more than a flattened pancake on the asphalt. "Ow," he groaned dryly with deep, aching pain circulating throughout his body.

Meanwhile, the group of fish-folks dusted themselves off and stood behind the sponge and squirrel, waiting for him to continue "popping the question."

"Whew! That was _so_ close," said a teenage girl.

"That's right. But I just know this will be worth risking our lives for!" said a male fish, clenching his fists and biting his lip with anticipation.

"Yeah, what are you waiting for, young man? **Continue** with the proposal!" urged a woman.

While everyone nodded in agreement and SpongeBob stared at them with a confused look, Sandy rolled her eyes and pulled him up to his feet. "This _ain't_ a proposal, people! Now, go home!"

They all sighed with disappointment and left, mumbling things under their breaths.

Sandy forced SpongeBob to look at her by grabbing his shoulders. "See what y'all did by makin' a scene, SpongeBob?" she scolded him.

SpongeBob shook his head with a sad expression. "Oh, I'm sorry, Sandy. I didn't mean to- "

She interrupted him with a sigh and dragged him away toward the entrance of another shop. "Never mind. It's about high time we had that discussion."

"But Sandy, are you _sure_ it's a good idea to talk about it in **there**?" SpongeBob asked warily, pointing a finger at the shop, as he floated in the wind like a paper bag while being pulled by her.

"I don't care where we talk about it anymore, SpongeBob. I don't think it matters all that much if anybody hears us, considering that you've already _exclaimed_ it to the whole entire universe."

"But… Sandy…"

She ignored him and went onward, walking with purpose in her step.

Right before they entered, Sandy failed to look up at the big, pink sign with a pair of flashing lips next to the words, "Kissing Lounge".

The two stood in front of the glass door, Sandy finally releasing him and placing her hands on her hips. "Alright, now, _this_ should be a good place to- "

They looked at the room with wide eyes, taking in the sight of men and women sitting together on leather couches, snuggling and making out, while romantic music played, and bright lights flickered in the background.

Sandy's eyelid twitched. "Uhh…"

SpongeBob dripped with sweat, unable to take his eyes off what was happening. "Told ya," was all he could faintly say.

The man standing behind a baby-blue-colored counter looked upon the couples with disgust, wishing this establishment didn't exist. "Ugh, why can't these weirdos just go to Make-Out Reef?" he sighed in annoyance.

Just then, a female fish clothed in a dress that was the same color as the marble counter came up to the two different species with a suggestive grin. "Well, I've never seen a more _interesting_ looking couple!" she giggled, making both of them blush as red as roses.

Sandy shook her head while SpongeBob waved his arms. "N-No, ya see, we ain't- "

"W-We just came here to talk," said SpongeBob, smiling sheepishly.

The young fish's smile grew ever naughtier as she stared at them. "Hm, that's what they _all_ say." She peered at Sandy's helmet for a moment while rubbing her chin.

"Hmm… well, I'm not sure how you two are planning to do this without that glass bubble getting in the way, exactly, but uh… as long as you enjoy yourselves, that's all that counts," she shrugged. She then reached into her back pocket, handing Sandy a breath mint, and SpongeBob a small bottle of breath spray.

She watched as they looked down at what they were given. "Don't worry, they're complimentary! But there's still the fee of two dollars each," she said with a cheeky smile, clasping her fins together.

"You mean people seriously have to _pay_ to get in here?!" asked Sandy, staggered.

The woman chuckled. "Of course! How else would we stay in business? And let me tell you something," she leaned toward them both with that same off-putting smile. "we **really** rake it in around here," she giggled once more.

Sandy cocked a brow at her. "I'll **bet** y'all do." _I agree with what the other guy said. Y'all are nothin' but a bunch of weirdos! _She thought.

SpongeBob could feel the humidity in the air from peoples' sweat, which was making him very nervous and desperate to leave. "Uh, here. I don't think we'll be needing this stuff, ma'am," he kindly stated, placing his breath spray in her fin while Sandy did the same with her mint.

The woman smirked. "Oh, I _see._ So, you two must brush your teeth every morning, hm?"

SpongeBob scratched the side of his head and looked up at the ceiling. "Well, actually, I lost my toothbrush last week and I- "

"Oh, this is just plain **ridiculous!** Let's get the heck out of this place, SpongeBob," said Sandy, fed up. She opened the door to let him go out first before she shot a quick glare at the woman and followed her spongy friend.

The fish-lady rolled her eyes and shrugged for the second time. "Eh, who needs 'em? This place has got _**plenty **_of customers," she chuckled with immoral undertones in her voice, watching the people kiss and fondle each other.

"You're **sick**, Margie," said the male fish behind the counter, peering at her, repugnantly.

* * *

The French narrator sighed to himself as he watched the sponge and squirrel sitting next to each other on a giant hill in Jellyfish Fields. "Ah, _finally._ Our two main characters in this episode have a nice, peaceful place to have their conversation. Hold on a minute… there is something I forgot to say at the beginning of this scene. What was it? Oh! Right," he cleared his throat. "Later…"

There was only a hint of the sun left in the sky, with only hues of dark blue, orange, and purple stretched-out across the distance of the horizon. The water was cool, with just a slight breeze blowing throughout the fields.

The two friends had become quiet for a few moments after SpongeBob explained the situation of the spiked ice cream.

"So… you mean to tell me there was _actual_ liquor in it?" she asked, turning her head to look at him.

The sponge slowly nodded as he twirled his finger around on the grass, comforted by its wet, soft bristles. "Uh-huh, there sure was. Larry told me it was the "strongest alcohol in the entire ocean', isn't that funny? Ha, ha, ha, ha…"

Sandy stared at him with a somewhat puzzled expression while he forced out a couple of lighthearted chuckles.

He looked up at her and bit his lip once he noticed that she wasn't agreeing with him. "Yeah, you're right. I guess it… _isn't_ funny." He stared out into the hills and watched the jellyfish.

"Oh, it's funny alright. It's funny how ya managed to keep it down for such a long period of time before ya finally barfed." She said with a bit of a scoff while looking off to her left, leaning back with her palms on the ground for support.

SpongeBob smiled halfheartedly as his eyes searched the grassy floor. "Y-Yeah. I'm really sorry about that, by the way. I guess with the nausea from the ice cream and the jellyfish in my stomach from our…"

They turned to look at each other and stared, both wondering how he was going to verbalize the rest of his statement.

"…kiss, I… just… couldn't hold it in anymore." He shrugged, studying her eyes to try and see how the mentioning of their intimate moment was going to affect her. "My nerves got the better of me," he continued, sighing.

Sandy could no longer look into those eyes; they were peering straight into the back of her mind, which was not a place she wanted anyone to see into, especially not him. She looked down to her left and pulled out a few shreds of grass, gently ripping them into tiny pieces.

"Just exactly what kind of liquor was it? Do ya know?" she asked, focusing on the grass between her gloved fingers.

SpongeBob blinked a couple of times and became distracted by watching her hands. "Well, yeah, I do. Whatever it was, it had a pretty long title. I'm surprised I even remember it."

"Do ya mind sharin' what it was?"

Though SpongeBob was confused as to how this mattered, he decided she deserved to know. "Sure. Larry said it was just between me and him, though. You won't tell anybody what it is if I tell _you_, will you, Sandy?" he asked, looking at her with a hopeful expression.

Sandy rolled her eyes. "Don't worry, I ain't gonna spill any of Larry's big 'bro' secrets to anyone." _Not that anybody would even __**care **__about such a silly thing in the first place anyway, _she thought.

After looking in all directions to make sure no one else was around and taking in a deep, preparatory breath, SpongeBob said, "Okay, here goes." He leaned toward her helmet with a hand cupped around his mouth, whispering the strange, long name of the insanely strong alcohol.

Sandy's eyes grew wide and her mouth fell open slightly. She turned to watch him pull away from her, and they stared at each other again.

SpongeBob was concerned by her expression. "W-What does that look mean, Sandy?"

"It means I think Larry's the dumbest critter I ever did see! Shoot, he's completely out of his _**mind**_ for mixin' that stuff into that dang ice cream."

"Why do you say that?"

"SpongeBob, that alcohol ain't just the strongest alcohol in the ocean, it's the strongest alcohol on dry land, too. Heck, I remember my granddaddy drinkin' it when I was younger, and he couldn't walk straight for three days! I'm shocked it didn't bother you more than it already did. No wonder that tea and everything else I gave ya didn't do anything; that stuff is impervious to _any_ kind of soberin' remedy."

SpongeBob's mouth gaped slightly as he stared at her, stunned. "Wow, Sandy… that's terrible. What else does that stuff do?"

"It does what any kind of alcohol out there does, SpongeBob, only it does it with about five or ten times the strength." She hesitated to look at him as her cheeks started to turn pink. "includin'… bringin' out one's lovey-dovey, romantic side."

SpongeBob gulped, nearly choking on his own saliva as he turned beet-red in the face. "O-Oh, really? So, alcohol does that, huh?"

"Yep, it _can. _Some people can drink it all day long and remain unaffected by it, while others… well, I don't need to explain the rest to ya."

The two looked away from each other, silence falling between them. SpongeBob quietly played with his tie while Sandy chewed on her lip with her buckteeth.

Okay, so they had gotten the alcohol thing out of the way, but now it was time to face the elephant in the room (or, in this case, the field.)

Neither one of them knew how to further go about what happened, though it was all their minds had been dwelling on lately.

"S-Sandy, I…" SpongeBob brushed his hand over the grass while staring at it.

"What?" asked Sandy, her tone carrying a softness he had never heard before.

SpongeBob felt his heart beginning to race in his chest. His hand continued to search the grass until it landed upon some small rocks. He picked them up and started to toss them over the hill, feeling the gentle blowing of the breeze against his face.

"I, uh…" he glanced back and forth between his hand and her eyes that were gazing at him. "Y-You wanna… throw some rocks?" he asked, holding out his hand.

Sandy stared at his open palm with her lids halfway over her eyes. She pursed her lips to the side and shrugged. "Sure, why not? Thanks."

"You're welcome."

When she lifted her hand and placed it in his to grab a rock or two, she instantly felt a spark shoot throughout her arm and to her heart, making her breathe quickly and heavily while keeping her eyes on both their hands.

SpongeBob breathed the exact same way and started to feel hot in the face again, despite the cool wind brushing by him.

They both looked up and locked eyes with each other. Sandy couldn't find the words to say. This was _not_ going as she had planned in her head. The way she envisioned it going was very awkward – which, in a way, it was – but she had imagined that they'd be arguing and misunderstanding each other left and right, and he'd try to apologize profusely as he did earlier in town, dropping on his knees and crying at her feet, begging that they could still be friends and to put it all behind them.

Instead, here they were, looking deeply into each other's eyes with tons of questions they weren't sure either of them knew the answers to. This did, in fact, feel strange, but there was also comfort in it as well.

_More_ than comfort, perhaps. There was sweet, warmhearted affection being shared between them in these moments, and neither of them had to say a word to convey it.

SpongeBob finally managed to show a small, crooked and silly smile to her, making it almost impossible for her not to blush. "Uh, heh, heh… I-I heard that… throwing rocks is good for relieving tension," he spoke softly and in his lower voice.

Sandy offered him a very similar smile and chuckled slightly, removing her hand after it seemed like it had been over his forever. "Haha, I heard that, too. I could sure use some relief." She looked away from him and shut her eyes tightly in embarrassment.

_Really, Sandy? Why'd ya have to word it that way? You make it sound like you've got a headache._

"YAH!" she grunted, throwing the rocks across the field with force.

SpongeBob smiled. "Heh, good throw," he complimented.

"Why, thank you," she replied, trying to act as if everything wasn't a huge, tricky mess.

"Sandy, I'm sorry."

"I know. You apologized to me earlier, SpongeBob."

The sponge sighed, staring into the darkening sky. "I know that, Sandy. But… it wasn't good enough." They both turned to look at each other again, Sandy watching his expression turn into a mixture of sorrow and lostness like he was a scared kid running around at an amusement park, separated from his parents.

"Why isn't it good enough, SpongeBob?" she asked, quietly.

"Because what I did was wrong, Sandy. And… I feel like I owe you about a _million_ apologies for doing it. You're one of my bestest friends in the whole world, and I messed that up all because I couldn't control my own passions," he shook his head, looking down at the grass, shamefully.

Judging by the tone in his voice, Sandy knew he wasn't finished speaking. She watched him intensely, waiting for him to continue.

"You looked at me and warned me not to do it, but I did it anyway."

"Yeah, you did."

He looked up at her. "Aren't you mad about it?"

Her brown eyes shifted around on the grass a bit as she thought deeply. "Yeah, I was at first. But I ain't anymore."

"Why not?"

"'Cause there really ain't no point in bein' mad about somethin' like that, SpongeBob. What's done is done, and ya can't take it back."

Her words felt like both a relief and a stab in the heart. How it was possible that she _wasn't _furious with him about it was truly shocking to him. Why she wasn't karate-kicking his butt into oblivion right now, he hadn't the slightest clue, other than what she had just said. But how could she say that? It just didn't make any sense to him.

"But Sandy, I… I gave into my emotions and pushed myself on you," he shook his head again, looking at her regretfully.

"Y'all were flyin' higher than a kite last night, SpongeBob. Alcohol does the craziest things to people; it makes sense that ya couldn't control the way you were feelin'," she said, finding more rocks and throwing them.

SpongeBob wanted to argue with that but couldn't think of any words. He looked back down at the ground. "The whole reason I went to your dome in the first place was because Patrick was teasing me."

"Teasin' ya about _what_, exactly?" she raised a brow.

SpongeBob bit his lip and blinked. "Teasing… me about… you." He breathed, hoping he wouldn't regret what he had revealed so far.

She watched his shoulders shrug as he played with the grass. "I was talking about all the things I like about you, and… he called me a 'squirrel-lover'."

"That's the strangest insult _I've _ever heard." She said, almost jokingly.

"It wasn't _really_ an insult to me, Sandy…"

Sandy gave a small smile. "Well, I _suppose _not… not if it's true."

She looked over at him and noticed he wasn't saying a word. Her heart pounded in her chest and in her ears as she prepared to ask him another question. "I-Is it?"

He nodded slowly, which did nothing but destroy that inner denial she had about him meaning what he had done.

"I like you, Sandy…" he said, avoiding eye contact with her. Finally coming out and saying it after all these years felt like a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders, but now he'd have to deal with her response, which was quickly burdening him.

"I… I've liked you for a very, very long time, Sandy. That's why I… kissed you. I know I was drunk and all over the place, but I… I just couldn't take it any longer. I knew what I was doing but at the same time… I didn't. Oh, I've said that before, haven't I?" he shook his head and scoffed at himself. "I guess sponges just don't make sense nowadays."

"Y'all are makin' plenty of sense, SpongeBob," she said, understandingly.

"I am?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I, uh… ya see, since we're finally talkin' about this, I might as well tell ya that the reason I didn't want ya to do it, was because I was afraid it would make me look at my own feelings towards _you_."

SpongeBob looked up at her, surprised. "And… did it?"

She stared at him for a moment before replying. "Yes, it did, SpongeBob."

The sponge gulped. "W-What's the verdict?"

A smile slowly crept onto her lips as she rested her hand upon his. "I like you too, SpongeBob. I like ya _a lot,_ and I wanna tell ya that after all my serious thinkin', I… I'm glad ya kissed me. If ya hadn't, gosh, I might've never come out and told ya how I feel."

SpongeBob's face lit up with a bright smile as he turned to face her completely, holding both her hands. "Oh, Sandy... d-do you… _really_ mean that? Do you _really_ like me that way? What about our friendship?"

She nodded. "I surely do, SpongeBob. And listen, just because we like each other, don't mean we can't still be friends too." She smiled, sitting up straight. "We'll always be friends, no matter what happens."

"So… you mean, we can be together and still be friends at the same time?"

"Of course! How do ya think all them old married couples in town have stayed together so long?"

As SpongeBob thought about it, an enthusiastic, warm and comforting feeling washed over him, realizing how true her words were. "They're best friends for life?"

"_Exactly,"_ she said, giving a quick nod with a smile.

"Aw, Sandy," he overflowed with tenderness and wrapped his arms around her in a hug. "I never thought this day would come," he smiled, shutting his eyes.

She returned his embrace. "To be honest, neither did I. Oh, by the way, SpongeBob?"

"Hm?"

"I'm gonna wring your neck."

He pulled back to look at her, shocked. "Huh? W-Why?"

"Because I haven't been able to get the ding-dang taste of vanilla out of my mouth!" she shouted while still smiling, letting him know she was just poking fun.

"Dahaha!" he laughed, leaning back in to hug her. "Well, San-day, **I** can still taste your acorns."

Sandy sighed. "Well, I guess it only makes sense that our lips would be so dang saturated with flavor. Know why?"

"Why?"

"'Cause you are one _sloppy_ kisser."

He pulled back and looked at her again, speechless.

The two then began to roar with laughter, Sandy leaning into him just a _little_ bit too much.

"WHOA!" screamed SpongeBob. The balance between them was lost and they both went tumbling down the hill in each other's arms until they reached the very bottom.

While they both still giggled like crazy, SpongeBob pushed himself up by pressing his hands against something firm, and it wasn't until he opened his eyes that he realized he had landed on top of her.

"Oh, uh, sorry, Sandy," he blushed, sitting up where her belly would be.

Sandy smiled. "It's alright, partner. I'll get ya back for landin' on me."

SpongeBob's giddy smile faded. "Get… me back? But how are you gonna-AHH!"

Suddenly, the tables were turned when she grabbed him by his sides and flipped him onto the ground, attacking his stomach with her gloved fingers.

"DAHAHAHA! OH, SANDY! PLEASE, STOP! DAHAHA!" he laughed uncontrollably as she tickled him.

She wore the brattiest smile on her face, enjoying every minute of what she was doing to the poor kid. "Oh, why would I stop when I'm havin' so much _fun?!"_

The jellyfish swimming by stopped to watch and pointed their tentacles at them, laughing at them with their buzzing sounds.

He quit laughing for a moment to catch his breath. "Well, your fun won't last much longer, Sandy. You haven't even found the _true_ tickle spot."

Sandy's mind immediately went back to the time she had him strapped to a table in her Treedome and was tickling him to see if he was one of those evil jelly clones.

She was thrilled that she now remembered where that spot exactly was so that she could torture him some more.

"Oh, _yeah._ Thanks for remindin' me, SpongeBob." She cracked her knuckles.

SpongeBob shook his head. "No, no! Sandy, please, don't-DAHAHAHA! NO! NOT THE TICKLE SPOT! YOU FOUND THE TICKLE SPOT! AHAHA!"

His contagious laughter was finally getting to her, causing her hands to weaken on his stomach.

"A-ha! Got ya!" said SpongeBob, grabbing her hands while her guard was down.

The two panted and stared at each other, SpongeBob slowly letting go of her hands while still laying on the ground. Simultaneously, they smiled.

SpongeBob's smile then turned into innocent confusion when she sucked in a breath and grabbed hold of her helmet.

"Uh, Sandy? Why are you doing taking off your helmet?"

She leaned forward and lowered herself over him, similar to the way he had done while dipping her the night before.

"Sandy?"

Once she got close to his face, he finally figured out what her intentions were. "Oh…" he smirked, then closed his eyes and pursed his lips.

The creatures continued to watch and giggle. The mother jellyfish then placed two tentacles over the faces of her offspring, shielding their vision from the squirrel giving the little sponge a smooch.

Sandy thought she heard funny noises and opened her eyes to look up, while her lips were still covering SpongeBob's.

Just then, a few more jellyfish swam over to peek at the sight. "Buzz, buzz, buzz! (Aww, look over there! A sponge and a rat are kissing!)"

The swarm of jellyfish was startled when the squirrel started throwing rocks at them after she had put her helmet back on. "Get outta here, ya nosy little varmints!"

Just as they swam away, SpongeBob sat up and looked behind him. "Who was that, Sandy?"

She shrugged, waving him off. "Mm, nobody too important. Now, come on. Let's get our butts out of here before we fall down another hill in the dark."

SpongeBob smiled and took her hand, standing up and walking out of the fields with his new girlfriend.

The French narrator sighed happily as he watched them. "Ah, so that is the end of our story, folks. And please, remember to _never _participate in a beach ice cream contest… or, perhaps you should! After all, it may lead to you expressing your feelings to one of your best friends. Eh, anything is possible under the sea."

* * *

**A/N: Hooray! So, this was it. I hope you enjoyed this little story (especially you, AtomicFlounder!) Haha. I have a Halloween one-shot coming up, as well as a story I'm writing for a friend. Stay tuned and until next time, see ya!**


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